I was once in a meeting where a manager presented us with his suggestions for improving some processes. After he was done, he asked for our thoughts. A coworker began explaining how his suggestions were flawed, where the holes were and what the repercussions might be.
Instead of taking consideration of what she said, the manager exploded. He said childish things to my coworker, none of which applied to the processes we were examining. We all knew his processes were flawed and he was wrong. And he knew it, too. But in that moment, when the ideas he thought were flawless were proven weak, he took it personally and handled it poorly. I was once in my coworker's shoes. It was also in a meeting with a manager. The manager wanted our team to come in to work fifteen minutes early to attend a special meeting. But instead of having us clock in when we arrived, he said we could take a longer lunch. When I pointed out this was illegal, because he was trying to avoid paying us any overtime, his face turned red and he shouted at me until I was nearly in tears. But he then said we should punch in when we arrived for the meeting. He knew he was wrong, he didn't like it. And he didn't like being called out on it. Both these situations happened at work and in front of subordinates. Perhaps that is why each manager reacted childishly. It's embarrassing to be wrong, to have our errors pointed out to us. I don't like making mistakes. Who does? But I also would prefer to have things done correctly, preventing future problems. I've developed the mindset to learn from my mistakes. Not make those errors again. I do get a flash of anger when someone points out my mistakes. For a minute, it is aimed at that person, but only in my mind. I've trained myself to automatically thank that person for letting me know. I mull it over, realize they were right and understand the anger I'm feeling is really at myself. Then I take steps to fix it and hopefully never make it again. I'm human, I remind myself. Humans make mistakes. A good human uses their mistakes as learning tools.
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About Sally FarleyI'm a typical, hardworking Midwesterner, enduring (and sometimes participating in) the passive-aggressive complexities of life in Minnesota. ArchivesLinksAsk a Manager
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