Today's gem is brought to you by Valerie, one of my many (two) readers who is searching for her own dream home. The realtor described this home as "slightly blemished." You be the judge. Let's start with the living room. One can only assume the sofas have seen better days and the sheets covering them were the best available option. Love that the power strip is located in the MIDDLE of the room. Don't trip when touring the home! Notice Santa in the window sill to the left? It's APRIL, people! I think this is one of those dancing Santas, so perhaps the thought is he'd entertain guests who are sitting gingerly on the edges of those sofas waiting for the host to bring them a refreshing glass of Kool-Aid. We'll move into the kitchen where the breakfast (and dinner, and previous breakfast and dinner) dishes are patiently waiting to be washed. The frying pan full of cooking oil is a nice touch. Nothing screams "house fire" like a brown coating of grease on the side of the refrigerator beside the stove. A full-sized table lamp serves as ambient lighting for those romantic meals. Let's check out a bedroom or two. (I think this homeowner collects lamps.) I personally think leaving the vacuum out for a real estate photo speaks volumes for the cleanliness of the property, don't you agree? However, the ashtray in the middle of the bed suggests otherwise. I wonder if these people own a fire extinguisher? Below is another bedroom, this one looks spacious enough, with all the stuffed animals cowering in the corner. I wondered why they just didn't shove everything into the closet but I suspect the stuffed toys are holding the door closed to prevent whatever's inside from exploding into the room. At first Valerie and I thought this was a sauna and the backpack was highly suspect. On closer inspection, I see a bar for hanging clothes. So this is likely a cedar closet. The backpack is probably simply filled with linens or cocaine. This home had three bathrooms. The other two were full of the usual clutter of toiletries and used towels but this one struck my fancy as it was the neatest. Yet, they left an empty toilet paper roll on display. Plus, I don't know what's going on with that strip of plastic at the bottom of the window shade. Intriguing. Finally, no set of real estate photos is complete without showing the basement.
This one is finished and can serve as a guest room for friends, family or kidnap victims. The microwave bedside table is a nice touch. No one wants to go all the way upstairs to the kitchen to heat up their midnight snack of Hot Pockets.
2 Comments
Valerie
4/9/2018 08:47:57 am
I can't stop laughing about this. Your commentary is far better than anything I'd come up with, though some similar!
Reply
Sally F.
4/9/2018 08:50:09 am
This almost made me spit my water!
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
About Sally FarleyI'm a typical, hardworking Midwesterner, enduring (and sometimes participating in) the passive-aggressive complexities of life in Minnesota. ArchivesLinksAsk a Manager
The Book Designer Caren Lissner Dad and Buried MemoirMag Moxie-Dude People I Want to Punch in the Throat Sasha Cagen Social Media Just for Writers Swirl and Thread Categories
All
|